The following post is a story written by our fellow Stitch member Carol T. from Florida. Carol is a Stitch Ambassador and a truly wonderful woman with an incredible story. She hopes her story can connect with others and perhaps inspire them in some way.
Carol is our first of hopefully many Stitch Member Spotlights.
If you have visited the homepage of Stitch.net, the first thing you see is “BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS COMPANY.” What a powerful phrase. I hope you then read the first paragraph, because for so many of us eating dinner alone most evenings, that paragraph says “Somebody gets it!”
Circumstances along life’s path leaves many of us without a companion for the class reunion, for the trip we’d love to take, for the pleasure of conversation over a nice dinner out on a Saturday night, for the day at the beach, or someone to cheer along with us while our favorite team plays.
For me, I lost my husband, my best friend in the world, to cancer that we only knew he had for 28 days and he was gone, way too young. He was working full time and looking forward to future retirement. I then lost my Father-in-law and Mother-in-law within the next few months.
I tell you this, not at all to pull at your heartstrings, because we all have a story. Whether it’s a death, a divorce, the loss of a long-time partner, you’ve still lost the companionship that you once had. There’s no time for any pity party. Decisions and questions follow immediately when suddenly becoming solo. Can I keep my home, did I lose my health insurance, and for me, I had 3 wonderful adopted children (one away on active military duty) that would need help through a difficult time.
For some of us, we have had the good fortune to turn our black clouds into strength and have accomplished more than we ever knew we could. We’ve found fulfillment starting new careers, and learning new skills. With encouragement from a local business owner, and the experience of owning a previous franchise, I started my own small business. But my daughter is a full-time sign language interpretation student, so I also keep my baby grandson twice a week so she can complete her degree. It’s a juggling act, helping family & trying to build a small business, but both are important.
But now that we’ve made it through all the hard stuff, guess what….we’re still alone. Our children and friends have their own lives, their own plans, as well they should. We love them and wouldn’t want it any other way.
So now what? Should we start visiting the local taverns, join a couple clubs or a bowling team? Should we sign up for one of the dating sites? No thanks, I’ve read up on those dating sites. They don’t have the security that Stitch offers. They don’t give you the choice of a non-romantic or romantic companion, not to mention living through all those rejections & humiliation that come with the dating sites.
I’ve been a member of Stitch since July, and have found everyone in this organization to be extremely caring, professional, responsive, community minded, and willing to do whatever it takes to build a worldwide organization with the utmost character and compassion for those of us, that for whatever reason, have been left without our companions, or perhaps never had one.
Just think, we can have a life again, and the kind of life we choose. I hope you’ll give Stitch a try…you’ve got everything to gain, and nothing to lose.
I’m very proud to be a Stitch Ambassador.
Do you relate to Carol’s story? Share your comments below. If you have a story to share, let us know and you could be in the next Stitch Spotlight!
Thanks Carol for being the Florida/Orlando Ambassador! I look forward to some great meetings.
Hi Teresa,
Sorry it’s been so long since the Meetup group has gotten together. You should have received an email today with some great news about opportunities for members in all parts of Orlando to list events and meetup for those events. I will continue to have gatherings to conversation each month.
There is a coffee and breakfast meetup scheduled for June 20th at Panera Bread near Sea World.
Thanks,
Carol T
I am still looking around at Stitch and have not joined yet. I,too, am in the Orlando area, a grandmother and take care of grandsons twice a week. As you can see, I do relate to your story.
Hi Carol,
I’m so glad to meet you. I also live in FL and would love to have a friend. Currently, I’m looking for a roommate here – if I can do that, and I’m also looking for another caregiving job. I’d love to here from you. Write when you can.
Jeanne Palmer
Hi Jeanne,
I’d like to invite you to a Stitch.net meetup group coffee and breakfast at Panera Bread, 10739 International Dr, Orlando 32821 on June 20th at 10 AM, near Sea World. I can answer any questions you have about the Stitch.net website or how it works. Gosh, I’m not sure how you would find a roommate, but I think there might be groups on the internet that match people up to live together. Same for the caregiving job. I know there are websites that specifically list caregiver opportunities, but someone in the group might know of a website. I’m sorry I’m not being much help with those 2 items, but I’m sure you would make some new friends at our monthly get together”s, which are listed on the Stitch.net Orlando Meetup website.
Thanks,
Carol T
Carol, nice to meet you. I was touched by your comments. I recently lost my father. I moved across the country and was his caretaker for 3 years in Massachusetts. While I was doing so, my mother suddenly died. I have also just moved back to California. I had a hard time making arrangements for my father’s funeral, deciding if I wanted to stay in Massachusetts, or not. I feel very alone in the world, but I am hoping that I will find some companionship through Stitch.
Hi Lynne,
Thanks for commenting on my story in the blog section of Stitch.net. I’m very sorry for the loss of your parents. My Father was born and raised in MA, as well. Everyone handles grief differently but I can tell you it’s necessary to take the time you need to grieve, so the healing can begin. It sounds like you’ve joined the website and if so, you’ve joined a very caring group that are committed to people finding all types of companionship. I don’t know what part of CA you are in, but there are a lot of Stitch members in CA, so look for an existing Stitch group or meetup group. They also travel often with groups in CA. Go out to Stitch events when you feel ready. It’s a great way to meet friends. Thanks again for reaching out to Stitch.net.
Carol T
Hello Carol and all our fellow Stitchers! I am a fellow Floridian living in the Sarasota/Bradenton area and totally agree with your comnents. There are many singles in this area and i have a very good social life, but at the end of the day, we are still alone. After being back in the dating arena for 9 years, it can be very disappointing and at the same time, interesting. I just joined this site and am hoping to further expand my circle of friends and attend social events.
Welcome, Jan! We are so glad to have you here. Carol will be planning some fun activities coming soon!
Hello Carol:
I almost eager to find someone who has lost a spouse. The pain is enormous. My husband for 14 years died a year and 11 days ago. It still feels like yesterday. I can function during week days, because I have a demanding job. However on weekend, it feels like a marathon. I cannot stop thinking about him, I cannot stop[ crying. Every fiber of my body is telling me to give up this life and end this torture, despite the people around me keep telling me that time will heal. I have no interest in finding another life. I am tire of waiting for my transformation. I thrive on his love and without it, I find it so difficult to take the step forward. My father and my husband passed away 15 months apart. I am an orphan and a widow. I often feel like a stray dog without a home or an owner. Alcohol has been the only tool to provide me with some short term solace.
I have been a widow for over 8 long years. My hubby and I were in a car wreck. He was killed and I was hurt severely. I was married almost 31 years. I had two grown sons and they also self medicated with alcohol
And drugs. Not a good way to handle grief. You need to get to a doctor for some help. I have a very strong faith and friends that have kept me going. My sons have also straightened out as well. Just remember grieving takes time to go through. I wish the best for yourself and email if I can support you in anyway..,
Hi Carol,
I read your story and was touched. I live in Florida also, but I am in Delray Beach on the SE coast. Do you know of any Stitch groups near me? I am about 3 hours south of you.
Thanks,
Nancy
Hi Ladies,
Are there any groups in the NY Metro area?
Is it expensive to join?
Thanks for the info.
Barbara
I too am a widow. For the second time now will be 15 yrs in 4 days. But as we all know life goes on. And if its not 1 log in the road its the whole tree. LOL. I have 3 grown kids. Oldest and youngest are boys and my middle is a daughter who is about as strong willed as they come. I lost my youngest brother to Viet Nam. This causes me to be about as patriotic as they come. I have been known to approach a big burly dude with his cap still on his head when most others are showing respect.
removing it for him while telling him My brother died defending that flag the least you can do is respect it. I have tried going to the Viet Nam memorial (the traveling one) several times. And the emotion is unbelievable. I was carrying my daughter when I lost my mother. I lost my first husband to 357 gun shot to the chest on Christmas Eve. Several years later I lost my oldest brother to cancer (melanoma) on Christmas Day. My latest husband was a truck driver. We hauled steel coils. Almost 15 yrs ago he stepped out of our truck and dropped dead. Then in 2 months it will be 6 yrs when I feel and broke my neck. I now have 2 titanium rods with screws and bolts holding my neck . But I am still here. Still kicking. Not real high but I’m kicking. I have come to realize that for some reason God has more for me to do evidently. I had the same injury Christopher Reeves had, My neck broke in 3 places. And this injury has slowed me down for real. But unless you know my neck is broken all you would think is a stiff neck. I have always been a go getter. Now I just have to do it all slower. LOL I LOVE TO FISH! Salt water. When I’m lucky enough to get to go if I catch much I’m sore for a couple days. But as soon as the chance to go again arises I’m the first to have my things ready> I have a back pack packed at all times. I tell most that God isn’t ready for me and the devil is afraid I will take over. I try very hard to stay positive. I have also lost my father and had a step-mother who had him cremated B4 I could get from Miss to Fla. Only to spread his ashes again without any knowledge to me. But through all this negative I find a positive. I am positive I am on this crazy world for some reason God has me here. I could go on but this lets you know ME! I am 1 to voice my opinion. I will be the first to apologize if I feel I’m wrong. I am not afraid to say I’m sorry. And from day 1 I am the same. So to you all I hope to meet some of you and to others I’m sure I will miss you as I get to know you. So in closing thank you for this opportunity and God bless you all. Brenda
I lost my girlfriend in March 2014 and it seems like my world just stopped. I know i am new here but i can say yes it does suck being alone. I am living with my girlfriends son. But he even thou we are in the same house is in his world and i am in mine alone. Just my 2 cents on the subject
Hello Carol
Lost my husband 6 yrs ago to pancreatic cancer and lived approx 7 was from diagnosis…WOWis all I can say. One day your planning an anniversary vacation and instead you’re burying them. I relate to each and very comment here and from my perspective the most difficult thing to except ( well, besides a life cut too short) is not coming home to someone to share my day with. Have met friends and my canine family, but not quite the same . A hole in my heart that I feel will never be filled. IT IS AWFUL, but what is the option? check out?? Not quite there yet
Hi Floridians, I lost my husband to his addictions. It was terribly sad to leave him, and perhaps the bravest thing I ever did. Staying was dangerous, leaving was terrifying. During the next few years I re-dedicated myself to my career, settled into a new community , volunteered for charities and prepared to retire. Starting over was hard, but I made many new friends and have had interesting experiences that I would not have imagined. I live in a cozy place that my friends pile into when I invite them to brunch, NetFLix binge or discuss a good book. Life is 95% better. I joined Stitch -still looking for that 5%. Crazy?
Hello….from one fellow Floridian to another, you have made the best of a bad situation and you won! I lost my husband to depression many years ago and my life has been 100% better…..I too have had new experiences, travel and live in peace. I applaud you for making a new life for yourself!
Hi Rose,
Don’t think you’re crazy at all! Would be great to see you post your questions in the Stitch discussion forums as that’s where most of the Stitch members discuss things like this … lots of them aren’t actually aware of our blog so you’ll probably get a much bigger response from members there than on the blog unfortunately. We know we need to do a better job making the articles show up in Stitch, it’s definitely on our roadmap at some point!
Cheers,
Andrew.
I kno the feeling my wife and I just don’t c eye to eye anymore n I got to keep going forward. Vietnam vet 69&70 WELCOME HOME MY BROTHERS
I am in Downers Grove Illinois My husband of30 year s died on Valentine’s Day 2017 it has been hard for me I had to make many changes in my life I’m 67 year old woman and u have to go 1 day at a time